Cast and Crew
Director: Fred Olen Ray (as Peter Daniels)
Writers: Steve Armogida, Mark Haggard
Producers: Alan B. Bursteen, Cynthia H. Margulis, Fred Olen Ray
Composer: Paul Di Franco
Cinematographer: Gary Graver
Editor: W. Peter Miller
Griffin Drew: Kristy
Tim Abell: Jack
Monique Parent: JJ
Mat Tanner: Connor
Amy Rochelle: Rosa
Gail Thackray: Diane
The Midnight Take
One would think a movie called Masseuse (1996) would be about, oh I don’t know, a masseuse. Maybe he entangles himself with a client and her husband, or he’s at a house and witnesses something he shouldn’t. Or, if it’s a she, maybe she travels from house to house offering massages, peace of mind, and happy endings. Until, that is, she meets the one man who wanted to give her an unhappy ending and get a piece of her mind. As most as I can tell, this movie is called the Masseuse because the masseuse (even though we only see her massage someone once) came up with the idea to have a massage party to make money… think Risky Business.
Straight away this movie leans into its genre with an opening wailing saxophone, and slow motion, foggy steamy images of Kristy (Griffin Drew) rubbing her own boobs during the credit sequence. I think it was Kristy, but truth be told the sketchy site that I’m watching this stream on is not the greatest quality. Couple that with it being late at night (or early morning) and I’m a couple bourbons and blunts in… well let’s just say there’s a lot of blurriness everywhere. And the source is obviously a digitized VHS tape. I keep wanting to adjust the tracking. Maybe someday someone will release an HD copy.
After the titillating credit sequence we immediately meet Kristy’s husband Jack (Tim Abell). Jack is every frat boy you wanted to kick in the nuts. Hard. He sells something or other, is obviously a slick sleazy scumbag, and is disinterested in his wife.
But Jack isn’t celibate, because the very next scene Jack is with Diane (Gail Thackray), his secretary. After a little blackmail, he’s convinced her to have sex and we get a few minutes of pelvic thrusting. They don’t get saxophone sex. Maybe because it’s an illicit affair?
Meanwhile, Jack’s wife is hanging out with J.J., played by the supremely sublime Monique Parent. We learn she’s a masseuse when she rubs Kristy for a few seconds. Seriously, there’s unfortunately nothing to see here.
They make their way outside next to the pool to sunbathe and watch the pool boy, Connor (Matt Tanner). J.J. suddenly is standing awkwardly poolside, slowly dripping water on her naked tits. This obviously attracts pool boy’s attention. There’s some boob petting here before we realize it was all just a dream.
Some plot stuff happens and we find out that Jack has to go to Las Vegas to close a deal. Before he leaves, and going against type, Jack and Kristy have bedroom sex. After their rekindling, Kristy and her friend travel somewhere I forget.
This allows Jack’s evil side to come out again, and we find out he’s also blackmailing Rosa (Amy Rochelle) for sex. We find out later he threatened to call immigration on her. Seriously. Anyway, while they’re in the throes of passion, Kristy manages to come home for some reason or another and sees them without them seeing her. Going against stereotypes, Kristy chooses to NOT masturbate while watching them.
While Jack is away in Vegas he gets into more trouble. Kristy and J.J. enlist others who have been wronged by this mean man and they all plot and take their revenge. Nothing violent here. More like cancelling credit cards type of revenge.
Masseuse (1996) is unique to this genre in that it has a plot. Furthermore, it’s somewhat plausible (as far as these things go). Most Fred Olen Ray films are entertaining and worth the watch. This is no exception, though I’m not sure it fits the erotic thriller genre, even though it employs a lot of its stereotypes. It’s public record the director wasn’t a fan of the genre, so it makes sense he leaned into a lot of the tropes. But no one dies. I don’t think there’s even a gun. There are plenty of softcore sex scenes. Griffin Drew, Monique Parent, Amy Rochelle, and Gail Thackray are all sexy and unlike a lot of films that feature and focus on a single star, all these beautiful women have at least one decent nude scene.
Watchability: 🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷 (7/10) • The plot is more plausible than others in this genre, which also means not as exciting. Still, it’s an easy watch if you enjoy erotic thrillers.
Sex scenes: 🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷🎷 (8/10) • Eight saxophones because of the variety. The four primary women have at least one scene of interest.
Sex and/or significant nudity breakdown:
- Kristy rubbing boobs. Quick.
- Jack and Diane in the office. Plenty of boobs, tongue, moaning, ass licking (cheek), multiple positions.
- J.J topless dripping water on herself for pool boy’s enjoyment
- Pool boy and J.J. next to pool. Some boobs.
- Jack and Kristy have saxophone sex in the bedroom. Boobs. Thrashing. Thrusting.
- Jack and Rosa. There’s a quick scene with boobs and then it’s interrupted. When it returns, they’re still doing it. She rides him, they do missionary, and plenty of boob licks.
- Kristy dreams of her and pool boy in the tub. No saxophone. Boob licking and even some light nipple biting.
- Jack and hooker. Kissing, boobs, pelvic thrusting, ride ’em cow-girl!
- Hooker and nerd. Boobs. Saxophone. Strip tease. Quick scene.
- Hooker and client. Boobs. Same saxophone song as before. Knecking. Quick.
- Hooker and client. MASSAGE. Quick boob shot.
Trope Checklist:
- Sweaty workout
- Sexy maid
- Disinterested husband
- Blackmail
- Pool guy
